The Prayer

The banging on the door was loud and persistent. I could see the early morning light beginning to take over from the darkness. I heard my mum ask who it was and a deep, booming voice answered,

‘Ni Polisi! Fungua Mlango!’

My heart was beating louder than the booming voice and I felt sick with dread. I felt like I was in a nightmare as I heard them explain to my mum why they were there and I walked slowly into the living room.

I wasn’t thinking straight when I agreed to be his girlfriend. I had been pining for him for so long that it felt like a brilliant idea then.

We were sitting close together on a red, checked Maasai blanket. It was by a green field right next to the clear waters of River Yandi. We had been sitting there for a couple of hours, his beautiful eyes looking deep into my shy, love-struck ones as he told me the funniest stories. Maybe they were not that funny but I was so in love with Taji. Everything about him was perfect.

The sun was going down and he put his muscular arms around me as he popped a juicy grape in my mouth.

‘You are the most beautiful girl in the world Mandi, I will give the world to you if you let me,’ he said in his sultry and sexy voice. He lifted my face gently by my chin with his forefinger so I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

‘Will you be my girlfriend,’ he asked softly.

Who in their right mind would say no to this tall dark and handsome man? His hair was thick, bushy, and long enough for her to run her fingers through. She had wanted to do that for so long. His full lips opened up into a dazzling smile, showing a perfect set of teeth; pearly white and all evenly placed. God took his time with this one, I thought.

‘Yes,’ I whispered. His smile dazzled even brighter as he bent down and placed a big wet sloppy kiss on my lips. I closed her eyes and let my hands run through his hair for a fleeting moment.

He stopped and smiled at her. Did he want to kill me with that bewitching smile??

‘It’s getting late girlfriend; we better go before your mother starts looking for you. Can we do this again tomorrow? Your boyfriend needs you every day,’ he joked.

‘Of course boyfriend,’ I joked back, ‘I want to do it every day until I die.’

‘With me, right?’ he said pulling her to her feet.

‘Hmmm maybe,’ I responded folding up the Maasai blanket I felt must have been my good luck charm.

As we approached her gate, no longer holding hands because I did not want my mother to appear and catch me in one of the seven deadly sins. I did not trust even the darkness that had already set in. He stopped and turned to me. This time his expression was serious and with a hint of a frown. For a minute I forgot how deliriously happy I was.

‘Listen, Mandi, please don’t tell anyone about us yet okay? I want to take care of you without any interference,’ he said, taking my small hand into his as if he had just remembered to be loving.

I nodded in the darkness and promised him I would meet him at the field again the next day at the same time. I was happy again as he kissed me lightly on the cheek and walked away with a little spring in his step, just like my own.

In the small house I shared with my mother and younger sister Maria, my mother was waiting with an angry vein pulsing on her forehead. It pulsed when Mum got angry and her eyes turned plum red. They were plum red right now.

It pulsed the hardest I had ever seen the day my nosy neighbor Mama Pendo told her that my dad was living with a scandalous woman just a few homesteads away. That day, I thought it would explode and drench my sister and me in her cold blood.

‘Where were you Mandi,’ she demanded icily ‘How many times have I warned you not to come into this house late? You better not be messing around with any of the useless young men in this neighborhood because you will have only yourself to blame.’

I did not say anything and sat down next to Maria and started helping her chop the onions she was already struggling with. I did not want to argue with my mother and spoil the beautiful events of the day. I smiled at Maria in the poorly lit room, my eyes filled with promises of juicy stories when Mum was not listening. Maria’s eyes lit up at the unspoken promise.

At 21, I was tired of living a boring life. I had nothing to look forward to or derive even a little happiness from.

My mother had no money to take me to College because Maria needed to stay in school. All I did was sit and wait for Mum to give chores for me to do so that I would not be too idle and allow the devil to work in my mind. Another devil’s workshop.

My father was broke and still lived with the scandalous woman a few houses away from ours. I was old enough to know now that scandalous in this case meant she ran a brothel. He hated us all. One time I bumped into him at the market and he looked right through me like he had never seen me. I did not know why and I never bothered to ask.

I wanted to find a way out. I wanted a fancy life like the girls I saw in the music videos on TV. I wanted a boyfriend to buy me beautiful clothes to make my curvy body look sexy and show me off to his friends. I wanted a mobile phone so I could get an Instagram account. I wanted to make TikTok videos like my cousin Linda had shown me when they visited the village over Christmas. Maybe they could make me famous. Taji had money, he would take me away from the miserable village life.

Sometimes he was not in the village. He disappeared for long periods and then he would suddenly appear. He would be around for a while, looking neat and handsome, hanging around the shopping center, buying drinks for his friends who never left his side, and being gorgeously conspicuous. He was about 25, old enough to take care of me. I would convince him to take me away from this dreary life.

As I lay next to Maria at night in the small bed, our long slim bodies placed in a way they had for years every night, I told her all about Taji.

‘He will take me away from here and I will come back for you when you are done with school, okay,’ I assured my sister as we drifted away to sleep happily.

I was at the field long before Taji got there. The Maasai blanket wrapped around me, staring at my reflection in the clear still water. He put his arms around me and nuzzled my neck as he snuck up on me. I couldn’t believe this was happening, I had a boyfriend! A hot boyfriend! I smiled as I turned around to face him, ready to feel his lips on mine. He did not kiss me but he held my face between his hands.

‘I can’t stay today Mandi, I have to be somewhere in an hour. I brought you something, a gift as beautiful as you are,’ he said to me with that toothy grin in full view.

He had a black bag slung on his shoulder, I noticed, as he reached into his pocket.

It was red with three perfect circles at the back and a dark screen. An iPhone 13, but I did not know it at the time, all I knew was I had a phone, finally.

‘I told you I will take care of you, girlfriend,’ he said placing it in my hands, ‘this belongs to you so we can talk anytime.’

I wasn’t sure what excited me more, owning a phone or talking to Taji on it every day. I didn’t know how I would explain to my mum where I got an expensive phone from. I would cross that when we got to the bridge. I would fight her and the pulsing vein if I had to but I was keeping it.

He hurriedly showed me how to use it. He put a little wad of crisp notes in my hand.

‘Buy yourself something cute so you look good for your boyfriend,’ he said serving me the dazzling smile again.

I was in disbelief. How did her fortune change overnight? She had never had more than 500 shillings to her name and now she had a wad of thousands in her hand. All hers!

‘I need you to do me a small favor,’ he said holding my face in his arms again, ‘take my bag with you and I will pick it up from you when I am back in a few days. Keep it safely away so that no one knows where it is.’

Years later, my eyes would well up with tears often, wondering why I did not bother to ask him what was in it or even break the small padlock and find out. I skipped home, happy and hopeful, giddy with disbelief. The taste of new big dreams is heavy on my tongue.

I pushed the bag under our small, rickety bed and covered it with an old torn curtain. I hid the phone under my pillow as I worked on possible lies to tell Mum when she discovered it. I kept it on and hoped Taji did not call before I did. He did not.

Maria was wowed by it as we whispered excitedly in the dark. I showed her the beautiful crisp notes, twenty thousand in total. I promised to buy her chocolate and take her swimming with it if she did not tell Mum. We fell asleep dreaming of the blue swimming pool that only rich, cool kids swam in.

I was awoken by the sound of the loud knocking on the door.

They put me in handcuffs as my mum and my sister wailed loudly. Flinging themselves on the floor. The neighbors came in their sleeping clothes, all traces of sleep swept away by curiosity. It was painful to watch.

I did not cry, I promised myself not to cry as they put the phone in a plastic bag. I showed them where the bag was and they pulled it out. They broke the little padlock and out tumbled what seemed like hundreds of bundles of green notes, dollars.

The man had been killed in a horrific robbery. He was a Canadian Businessman on his way back to the hotel. The phone signal had been traced to my house. Taji was nowhere to be seen, I was all alone.

Everything that happened from there was a blur, up until the day my sentence was read. I got life, for robbery with violence and first-degree murder.

Nine years of hopeless prison life had done nothing but chip away at my soul. I was empty inside. Today, a tiny drop of hope flickered in my empty and dark soul. The President would declare his decision on whether he would grant me a presidential pardon.

I smoothed down my black and white striped dress and walked out of my cell.

For the first time in nine years, I prayed.